Moodscope 20: Playing the “Excited” Card

20 Moodscope Card - Excited

This is it!  The final Moodscope Card.  #20 is all about being “Excited” – which for Moodscope means, “looking forward to things.”
My last Moodscope card, and what a beautiful red (=positive) card to finish on.

This is pure, focus-driven dream power.

It is the power of hope.

Hope is called the anchor of the soul – it is a sure and certain belief that “tomorrow” can and will be better… whenever that “tomorrow” will be.


Action can only follow attention – and then excitement follows too. So, regarding the future, on what specifically will you lay your attention? You really can choose.

On Genetics, Marketing and My Destiny

My research into the scientific basis for happiness suggests that a stunning 50% of my future happiness is based on my genetics – not always good news.

Interestingly, only 10% depends upon what the marketeers suggest will bring me happiness – the new car, the big house, the material aspects.
I’m happy to work on the 40% that is within my grasp, within my power to change. If I really can choose what I focus on, and this could make 40% difference to my happiness, I will choose to look forward to specific things and events.

Sugar Rush or Sugarloaf Mountain?

I’ve added “events” there because the consensus is that “stuff” is pretty impotent at changing your state. Buying “things” gives the equivalent of a sugar rush, but it is soon over. Doing things, like taking a trip to Sugarloaf Mountain, is much more enduring in terms of the benefits you reap.
My youngest son posted on Facebook that 2013 was the best year of his life. Why? He then listed all the things he’d done. There was nothing material in the list. It was travel. It was meeting new people. It was spending time with friends. These moments of truth are the stuff of life – the stuff that endures – the stuff that is worth getting excited about.

Life as a String of Pearls

If the science is sound and 40% of your destined happiness is in your control (+10% through ‘stuff’), now’s a great time to get excited about your future.

You’d benefit from a Happiness Plan, a plan I call, “The String of Pearls”.

Life is a string of ‘moments’ – thoughts, events and feelings strung together by time.  Each Pearls is a secretion of the shellfish to protect itself from life’s grit and irritations.

I’ve seen your future – it’s full of little irritations.  The secret behind the secretion is to transform those moments into moments of happiness, moments of truth.

That, my dear friend, is up to you.  Can you find the value, the meaning, the truth in each moment?  Can you thus create happiness where others find mere irritation?  I believe you can.

So as you hike up Sugarloaf Mountain, there will be the irritation of the heat and the effort – but I promise you, with the right frame (i.e. the hope of future excitement of the view from the top and a cool drink) you can learn to enjoy the excitement of the effort and the climate.

Sunny love from damp Dorset!

Moodscope 19: Playing the “Ashamed” Card

19 Moodscope Card - Ashamed

The penultimate card!  Today’s card is the 19th in my series of 20 on the Moodscope Mood-Measuring indicators.  The 19th is the “Ashamed” Card which Moodscope defines as, “feeling shame for doing something wrong or foolish.”

What a great word for “embarrassment”!  Oh, I’ve embarrassed myself on many an occasion.  But do you know what?  Most of the events weren’t worth getting embarrassed about.  I was always the one who cared most about the stupid thing I said or did.  Others may have laughed “at” me, but they soon forgot.  Well, usually!

HARP Tip: It is alwyas worth asking yourself the question, “According to whom?”  If you’re feeling embarrassed and therefore believe the situation to be embarrassing, ask yourself, “This is embarrassing according to whom?”  Sometimes that’s enough to take the sting out of the moment.

As a frame can make or distract from a picture, so also the context can exaggerate or dissipate a sense of shame.  This is where you can make a difference.  If you are ashamed or embarrassed, excuse yourself (not by way of apology but by way of absenting yourself – Elvis must leave the building!)

This may seem almost cowardly but we all know deep down that trying to do something about the situation from a state of feeling ashamed rarely produces anything good.  We’ve dug a hole and we can end up digging it deeper.

Better to leave as graciously as you can (even if only for 5 minutes to the loo), breathe differently, change your posture, refocus and reframe the event.  Then you can return to influence the way the rest of the time plays out from a position of detached strength.  A sense of shame often provokes the defence of blame.  Better to dissociate yourself for a while and get a fresh perspective.

Of course, I don’t need to remind you that everyone has made a fool of themselves at some time or other.  Because of this, the simple and beautiful words, “I’m sorry,” will resonate so powerfully with their heart that they will be moved.  They may choose not to outwardly show this but humility and love is irresistible in the long run.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Amen and So Be It!

HARP Tip: “Associated vs Dissociated.
This is language used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and in HARP (Hypnotic Associative Re-Patterning).
It refers to how ‘in’ the event you feel or perceive yourself to be.
Most of us watch the sad News on the TV in a dissociated state.
It is as if the glass on the front of the screen provides a safety barrier for our emotions – a shield between event and emotion.
If the News then mentions someone we know, we are suddenly pulled through the screen into the event – we feel it personally.
This is the ‘Associated’ state.
It is as if you are there,
looking through your eyes
hearing through your ears
feeling through your skin…
 
Being able to be associated or dissociated at will is a core-skill of being ‘Emotionally Intelligent’.
An emergency worker is better off being dissociated whilst giving practical aid.
In fact many acts of heroism are carried out in a dissociated state.
When the hero is interviewed afterwards, they often say it, “just happened… I acted without thinking.”
Feeling embarrassed is very ‘associated’!
Dissociating yourself is a good strategy to take the sting out of this unresourceful and disempowering emotional state or feeling.
‘Breaking State’ – breaking the spell the emotion has cast over you, by absenting yourself from the situation is a great first step.
When you return to face the heat (even if it was just the heat in your cheeks), imagine going back as a commentator from the BBC.
Distance yourself from yourself!
Imagine you were commenting objectively and dispassionately about someone else.
If you want to step up the magic, imagine yourself protected by a clear, toughended glass shield that stops other people’s negative ‘vibes’ reaching you.
I use a technique I learned and adapted from Jack Black (the Scottish Motivational Speaker, not the Hollywood star!)
 
The technique is called, “Thunderbirds!” and is named in honour of the TV Show.
It has a wonderful, military march theme tune and promotes a sense of adventure and good energy.
I play the theme tune to myself in my head, and imagine a protective clear glass shield coming down all around me.
It is permeable to air, so I can breathe freely!
However, it is impermeable to negativity – nothing negative can get through my shield!
I find this helps me deal with difficult situations without my own or other people’s emotions contaminating the communication.
 
Crazy?  I don’t think so.  After all, “Reality leaves so much to the imagination!”
 

Moodscope 18: Playing the “Active” Card

18 Moodscope Card - Active

Nearly there!  This is the 18th of my series on the Moodscope Cards.  Today, it’s time to be “Active” which Moodscope defines as, “feeling full of energy.”

A Moodscope red card meaning a good thing!  Energy must flow, and so it benefits from a focus.  I love the word “Active” because, psychologically, I’m closest to the “Activist” preference [Activist, Pragmatist, Theorist and Reflector are the four I’m thinking of].  But I love “ProActive” more.  This is the deliberate application of action and energy and passion towards a desired goal.  Being a bit of a Squiggle, my top’s made of rubber (actually it looks like a chewed rubber-tip pencil) and my bottom is made of a spring… but I’m not always bouncy, bouncy, fun-fun-fun…

To be fun, I need to be running the right programme in the software of my mind.  This can often be launched by the right question.  Here are some good ones…

  • What would you like more of?
  • What would you like to be more like?
  • Whom would you like to be more like?
  • What would you like to do?
  • Would you like a piece of toast?

These are great Activist questions – and we’ve all got a bit of the Activist in us.

Playing the “Active” Card is having a positive orientation – a forward towards-type momentum.  I heard an account of Mother Theresa refusing to march in protest against a major World conflict.  Puzzled, the campaigners asked her why she would not march.  She declared that she would march with them when they marched “for” peace, but she would not march “against” anything.  “For” and “against” – opposite directions for one’s energy to flow.

Mother Theresa understood the power of direction when taking action and being active.

Those wonderfully wierd people I love, Neuro-Linguistic Programmers*, talk of two opposite “meta-programs” – either being “towards” or “away from”.  Let me assert, being actively “towards” more of what you would rather have in your life is way better than being “away from” stuff.

Come on Tiger!  Tell me what you want.  Roar.  And then go get it or them!!!

Play a 3 on the “Active” card today and march for and towards something you care about, in the direction you want to be heading.  Btw, I really recommend “marching”.  When I’m fed up, I will sometimes put on my Russian winter hat and literally “March” up to the local shops.  The pace feels purposeful and powerful.

At The Frontier - Lex CD

I know, I’m a nutter but I’m harmless… most of the time!

[*btw, when I was bored one day, I reframed NLP + as HARP… = Hypnotic Associative Re-Patterning.  That’s catchy, isn’t it?  It’s less tree huggy and more business focused and won’t upset my Christian friends who don’t want to channel wierd spirits.  If you’d like to know more pop your details on the form below… we might even end up as Facebook-Friends.  I can’t promise it’s not wierd, after all, it’s my stuff, but it is safe and inoffensive, as well as being phenomenally powerful and glorifying to God.]

Moodscope 17: Playing The “Nervous” Card

17 Moodscope Card - Nervous

Here is my 17th blog on the 20 Moodscope cards.

Today, it’s the turn of the “Nervous” Card which Moodscope defines as, “feeling worried that something unpleasant will happen.”

Whichever way you play this card, we are talking about energy here, nervous energy.  Being a blue card, Moodscope is suggesting this is an unresourceful state of mind, so we need some alchemy to turn the base energy into pure gold.  Whilst this may be impossible for the alchemists of history, it is fully possible for the alchemist of your imagination, will and intention.

Perhaps the key here is in the “will happen” – what I call the “future uncertain” tense.  [When the future is uncertain, this certainly makes most people feel tense, or nervous!]  This simply and surely means that your energy is in the wrong place.  The only way to influence the future is to do something different in the present.  And that takes energy – nervous energy reframed, reinvented and refocused.

Energy needs to flow – and for most of us that means doing something physically.  So, what would make this day better?  This is familiar territory for regular readers of the Moodscope blog – e.g. spending time with friends who are energising in a good way;  doing art that inspires; listening to music that uplifts; being kind to others.  And it is that last one I’d recommend concentrating on today.  Nervous energy can really be channelled to help others.  You may have a friend who’s been putting off tidying up their garage/cupboards/spare bedroom – there’s always something they’ve been putting off.

Get together and make it an adventure in productive fun.  You’ll soon find your nervous energy better spent.

[Footnote: I’m a real loner.  So sometimes I prefer the company of the cat.  Ridiculous though it sounds, tidying up while chatting to the cat seems to work just as well for me… no back-chat or challenging converstation from the cat!!!  So, to act on today’s suggestion, you don’t even need to go and find-a-friend.  I’m sure you’ve got areas in your own life that would benefit from a tidy-up.]