If Performance Magic has taught me anything so far, it would be that living a positively “enchanted” or “charming” life depends much upon where you place your attention.
Magicians of Stage, Screen, and Street depend up misdirection of attention for many effects. It struck me this morning that many of us live lives of misdirected attention. We tend to get more of what we focus on. So, if we focus on what we don’t like about our circumstances – or even what we dislike about members of our social circles – guess what? Yes, that’s right, we find that the objects of our attention expand. [If I can learn how to do it, I will insert a video of the expanding head illusion to illustrate, but until then, there are excellent examples on YouTube.]
The opposite application of this psychological truth is experienced at the beginning of every romantic relationship. When we first fall in love, we apply “love-filters” to our ways of seeing the object of our desire! We notice how alike they are to us. We notice every charming idiosyncrasy they display. However, after time has passed, “reality” catches up with us! The reality-check notices the idiosyncrasies that are not quite so enchanting! (For example, how to properly put the lid on the toothpaste!)
Have you ever wondered why so many mothers see so much good in their children? Ah, the magic of love filters.
I firmly believe that no one I have ever me (myself included) has a firm grasp of reality. We all filter our experience to favour our particular beliefs and prejudices. I am not suggesting this is bad – and I don’t believe it can be overcome (simply because of the complexity and “volume” of information that makes up “true reality” in its fullness.) It can, however, be challenged and changed. You can choose your filters.
So, today, you could choose to pop on those love filters again, and once more see your inner circle of friends and loved ones in a new light… and new light that you may well find simply enchanting. Go, make some magic happen!